Poly Planet GAIA | ecosexual love | arts of loving | global holistic health | eros | dissidence

Thursday, August 12, 2010

New Paradigms # 1: Gaia Science and Polyamory

New science and cosmology encourage a paradigm shift toward more symbiotic styles of love. We humans are welcome on the third planet under the auspices of our hostess Gaia. If we want to continue to be welcome, we may as well learn from the species who've been around quite long, including bacteria, our 4-billion year old ancestors, who have sex with their neighbors all the time for no other reason than to rejuvenate themselves. Bacteria are slightly orgiastic and very symbiotic. They are a good ecosexual model for us. Woooooooow! Watch the video for more info and details!



You've watched Segment 1 of 8 from Keynote Address at the 2010 World Polyamory Association Conference, Harbin Hot Springs, California, June 25th, 2010.  Leave a comment on the blog and let us know what you think!

For the gracious auspices of Janet and Kira Lessin, conference organizers extraordinaire. Video and clips courtesy of Steve Hoffman, of Healing Greens, Oakland, videomaker extraordinaire. 

The Kindle edition of Gaia and the New Politics of Love will be available soon.  Ecovillages and intentional communities are adopting this book as a model of holistic living in the realm of personal and amorous relationships. Now you can get your copy without wasting a milligram of wood from a single tree!  We welcome your contribution to generating bestsellers for the people and by the people: September 26th is the official date for massive buying of this new, paperless edition (or the paper one).

If we get to be 100th or higher in rank, we can say to have reclaimed bestsellers as creative people's activism rather than a corporate initiative.  Please mark your calendar for Sunday, September 26th, and hop to the link to make your purchase.  If you choose not to spend money on a Kindle, we completely approve and suggest you download the FREE Kindle for PCs software here.

Oh, and if you're ready to find out how it did happen that my life became the experiment from which came the theory, don't hesitate to get all the juicy details from the memoir Eros.

Namaste,
Gaia
a.k.a. Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio, PhD
author of Eros, A Journey of Multiple Loves
and many other books

Monday, August 9, 2010

Is Monogamy Unnatural? Book Argues It Isn't and CNN Talks About This!

When yours truly read about this on Facebook, she rushed to read the article and fund out is is a review of the book, Sex at Dawn, abut the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.  The authors are Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan.  The argument does not seem very new, and is still quite interesting.
  
Foraging societies did not have a sense of personal property and this applied to people as well as things. Groups of humans moved around with personal possessions reduced to a minimum, and no one really bothered to find out who belonged to whom. Women breastfed children regardless of who delivered them, and men helped parent them regardless of who sired them.  This was normal for humans before agriculture became prevalent, before, in other words, we knew about seeds, and wombs, before the concept of paternity was part of human knowledge systems.  

This argument started with Bachofen, in the late 19th-early20th century, who, in Myth, Religion and Mother Right, argued that matriarchal social organizations were prevalent throughout the Neolithic for that precise reason: that paternity was not a concept yet, and so men did not think they should know who put the seed in.  Women were more revered and also more free: they had sex with multiple partners, especially in the fertile period, to make sure someone would make them pregnant. 

This line of thought developed further with feminist philosophers and theorists of the 'second wave,' including, to my knowledge, Adriana Cavarero, who, in In Spite of Plato (translated by yours truly), argues that this ignorance of paternity was a good thing, because it empowered women with sovereignty over our bodies, and the decision to be hostesses to the reproductive process necessary for the species was ours and ours alone.  Two other theorists on this topic are of course Riane Eisler and Marija Gimbutas.  Eisler links the social practice of competition to the social construct of paternity and the ensuing practice of controlling the female body that hosts the seed to ensue its authenticity, the fact that the resulting child is sired by the man who parents it.  This, Eisler observes, not only disempowers women, but also preempts the possibility of a society organized on partnership.  Because partnership requires trust and equality, and these are impossible when men's self esteem is predicated on their ability to certify paternity. Matrifocal societies are better candidates for partnership systems.  The Romans, who learned a lot from the Greeks, and the matrifocal cultures that preceded them, put this very simply: "maternity is always certain, paternity never is."  So, if it isn't, let's shift our focus away from it, argues Gimbutas, who studies the matrifocal cultures of the Neolithic in the pre-Indoeuropean Mediterranean, to find out that they indeed were organized around the sacred feminine, myths of fertility, the management of waters, the practice of sharing resources, including amorous, sexual,and reproductive resources, the commons, and social peace.  social peace.  

Obviously, with us humans having been around for about a million years now, monogamy and paternity, which came about as social constructs only about 10 thousand years ago, it follows that our species is not monogamous from an evolutionary viewpoint: indeed, our bodies, our biology are not programmed for sexual exclusivity.  How could they be?

Many will say that neither is our biology programmed for sitting hour after hour at the computer, like yours truly and many other bloggers and other social media people do.  Obviously, we don't need to be biologically programmed for something to enjoy doing it.  We can enjoy sexual exclusivity when we choose it.  That's why yours truly often claims that monogamy is a version of polyamory: it's a spontaneous occurrence which is good as long as it is not enthroned as a social rule or billed as 'superior' because, supposedly, it represent the endpoint of evolution for our species and the biota as a whole.  

Reclaiming that polyamory is 'natural,' as Ryan and Jetha do, is a very good thing.  It helps to reconfigure 'nature' in the human mind as something quite closer to what it is: an ecosystem of interconnected life forms that is, per se, quite queer, namely odd, irregular, diverse, interconnected, happy, gay, and cheerful.  Able to heal itself because it does not follow mechanical rules.  Alive per se because it enjoys the pleasure of being.  Yet claiming that non-monogamy is 'natural' as opposed to monogamy not being so is deceptive too.  It is extremely important to bring back polyamory within the range of what is natural, spontaneous, and healthy for humans to do, but not at the expense of, or in bipolar opposition to, what is commonly known as monogamy or sexual/amorous/romantic exclusivity.  

More to the point, this new acquaintance with polyamory as a natural, biologically-programmed, and long-standing prevalent tradition that goes back all the way to pre-history is a way to revisit the past to invent a new future.  If something was done in pre-historical times we often consider it bad, backward, 'primitive.'  But what is 'bad' about primitivism?  What we often call 'history' is actually a very short period in the life of our species.  A well documented one, for sure!  But a 'good' one?  The past ten thousand years have been filled with wars, empires, exterminations, genocides, tortures, competitions, extinctions and other forms of destructive behavior that we humans have inflicted on fellow creatures and a whole bunch of other species, not to mention entire habitats, climate and ecosystems, based on ever more powerful weapons and domination systems that have, ultimately, had the effect to make us, the inventor species, also a rather unhappy species, with very few individuals still able to connect with the magic of nature, the ability to contemplate existence in the present as a state of pure bliss.  

Maybe those matrifocal 'primitives' who knew nothing about paternity, and were 'naturally' polyamorous because they loved nature in all its manifestations, including several people, were happier than today's average person.  So, by finding out how these poly primitives lived, by looking at the origins of sexuality in the long-standing life of our species, we can also come to a better understanding of a different time in our 'history,' a time when 'history' was actually more of a 'herstory,' as fellow second-wave feminists Susan Griffin and others would put it.  

This will help us also dispell another myth: that women naturally 'suffer' polyamory while men are the ones who want it.  Really?  How come today's women would 'naturally' demand monogamy when historically the times when polyamory was natural are times when women were revered, sovereign, and free?  If paternity, the cultural construct of male insemination as 'cause' of female fertility, is what caused dominant societies where women lost that sovereignty and that freedom, then perhaps sexual exclusivity is a result of patriarchal social organizations too? 

In any event, all reflections on these topics are very significant at this time.  Sexuality, in itself an invention of modernity and its wish to study the expression of erotic love in view of general laws to be considered 'scientific,' is now being re-envisioned as mainly a way to revitalize our species and the biota that hosts it, not necessarily as a way to reproduce it.  The mandate to 'go and populate the earth' has been fulfilled.  We need forms of erotic expression that are about pleasure, connectedness, health, holism, not about possession or release.  We need ecosexual people, people whose erotic inclinations are ecological too.  That's the only way to invent a new future. And of course the potential and ability to express these inclination respectfully with multiple people of various genders is a bonus to this future too.  

An ecosexual future is also a Gaian future, a future when the fact that our planet Gaia is gay will finally be recognized by our sad and ingeniously destructive and self-destructive species and when we will decide to use our ingenuity to finally keep Gaia gay too.       






Christopher Ryan is a psychologist, teacher and the co-author, along with Cacilda Jethá, of "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality," published by Harper Collins.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Gaia and Amorous Resources: What's Holistic about Poly?


Hi everyone!

This is Serena, a.k.a. Gaia, writing from Kalikalos, a holistic community in Kissos, on Mount Pelion, Greece.

This is a stop in my journey for two main reasons: wanting to become acquainted with the mythologies of my childhood, and wanting to bring the ideas and practices of poly-amory, multiple loves, to people and communities already attuned to holistic styles of living.

Here's a quick report from part one, an introduction to the relation between Gaia, the concept of a living planet, and amorous resources, resources of love that we can share amorously if we learn a little bit about what poly people do.

We had scheduled this intro for the Wednesday morning slot, on August 4, 2010, during the Family Experience Week, for participants in two campuses, Kalikalos, where I am staying, and Anilio, a nearby village in the same area.

It was announced the previous evening at a wonderful taverna dinner, where people responded with a certain enthusiasm. Parallel activities for children and teen-agers were arranged, even though we also opened the option for their participation too.

The next day almost the whole community showed up. We had prepared the Round House, a pretty summer building made of pine, canvas, and bamboo. Over twenty people showed up, everyone with their own dosage of curiosity and enthusiasm.

The conversation went very smoothly, with everyone responding eagerly. "When people mention Gaia, what comes up for you? What comes up when you hear polyamory? And, last but not least, the million dollar question: jealousy?" The presentation unfolded from the diverse responses the group generated. And at the end it was decided to offer another session, with bioenergetic exercises that help people experience 'compersion,' in little increments. It was amazing how quickly this group got the idea of what compersion is. It was a new word for them, initially proposed as 'the opposite of jealousy.' They came up with a parallel definition that compares it to the Buddhist concept of Maddhitta, or the joy of rejoicing in someone else's joy.

Individual coaching sessions were also offered, and one was scheduled right after the meeting. It was a joy to share my knowledge and experience with this brave woman from the UK, a gift to listen to her story and empathize with her situation and predicament. Often, the internalized idea that monogamy is superior is the real obstacle to the unfolding of a happy and free amorous life. I do hope that obstacle was at least temporarily removed from her mind, at least for the time being . . . . so that her path of personal and spiritual growth can naturally unfold.

So this group really gave me a sense of wider possibility: I do feel that it is my mission on this planet to open up all kinds of holistic communities to the ideas and practices of poly love styles. One of my two purposes for being here in Greece is now very tangible and real. As for the other one, well . . . it was so magical to mention Gea, or Gaia, on the very land where this concept was created, in times so ancient that it is sometimes difficult to find their traces on the land that hosted them about three thousand years ago. Greece has been colonized and culturally reorganized various times since, by the Orthodox Christians, the Ottoman Turks, and more.

Still . . . there was one participant in the group who is originally from Greece. She often functions as an interpreter for the English-speaking group with local people. When I mentioned the Titans, or first generation of Greek deities, that were not people but forces of nature that one would interpret, second, and revere rather than control, it was clear that she knew what I was talking about. She even gave us the name of Gea spelled and prononuced in Greek! I wish I could reproduce it here, but it will have to be for some other time, since I'm too ignorant to remember the letters of the Greek alphabet she used!

In any event, it was great to see that what I came up with in relation to Greek mythology made sense to a person who was educated in modern Greece. It must be real then, and not just a fantasy of yours truly. The day unfolded with people silently metabolizing the new ideas. Facilitator extraordinaire Dorota Owen showed great enthusiasm. One could observe the afterglow on people's faces at dinner.


And on this note, my blog entry will come to a conclusion. I definitely will come back to Kalikalos for more summers and more groups. I also highly recommend these vacations. The cool air of a mid-mountain village, a nice residence, a cozy holistic community, access to fabulous beaches, moderate prices and the option of offering services, a sense of family, and healthy vegetarian food. What else could one expect from a vacation in Greece?!

For anyone reading this blog, and interested in knowing more about polyamory and holism, I recommend my latest book, Gaia and the New Politics of Love. Discount buy here.

For those interested in my life as Gaia, the experiment that lead to the Gaian awareness I have today, I recommend Eros: A Journey of Multiple Loves. Discount buy here.

Fianally, for those interested in fabulous holistic vacations in Greece, I recommend the Kalikalos Blog, http://kalikalos.blogspot.com, and Website http://www.kalikalos.com. Make sure you stay up to date on what's coming up and what they are doing!

Namaste,

Gaia,

a.k.a. Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio, PhD
author of Gaia and the New Politics of Love, a Silver Winner for the 2010 Nautilus Award in Cosmology and New Science, and of
Eros: A Journey of Multiple Loves, a Lambda finalist for Bisexuality in 2007

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Is Polyamory Revolutionary? by Micah White via Adbusters

My comment and critique to this piece.  Why bi, ecosex, tantra, and fluidity make what we mean by 'poly' and 'orgy' different today from what they meant in the 1960s.
Interesting article. 

Emphasizes importance of love revolutions, or 'lovolutions.'

Argues that the 'orgy' was your staple way of being sexually revolutionary in the 1960s, 'polyamory' is today's way.  But what is polyamory and what is an orgy?  The very concepts of polyamory and of sex with multiple partners have changed since then.

Here's how Micah puts it:

"Polyamory is an outgrowth of the free love movement but instead of looking to the orgy as the model for rebellion it is the notion of a tribe that excites their imagination. There are many visions of polyamory, but the one that many find intriguing is a world where partners are not exchangeable, relationships are stable and promiscuity is often frowned on."


I'd like to comment and expand on this.  I would object to the idea that today's polyamory and the 'orgy' or group sex don't get along.  Perhaps it's the very sense of what group sex is or can be that has changed, because we are more aware of the arts of loving via tantric practices and teachings, and because we have reactivated more sophisticated ways to be erotic, and affectionate, and sensual.  This is probably due to safety and health and the awareness that a free exchange of fluid is not always healthy for people, especially when partners are multiple.  

We are also more familiar with queer sexualities, and everyone is more in tune with being a bit bi and fluid.  This has resulted in a sexuality or practice of the arts of loving that is more energetic and nurturing, with more emphasis on pleasure and less on release, and in general more attuned to the yoni, the ying, and what women typically enjoy.

We are a bit more ecosexual, to put it simply, we are more aware of our bodies as ecosystems, and of how they synergize with those of our partners too. I'd say that's party the result of a general sense of fluidity in the cultural notions of what sexual orientation is, and that fluidity, I would argue, is largely the result of the ecofriendly intentions of the bisexual movement: the idea that we love people for who they are and not based on their gender, and that this love finds it own level of erotic expression too, if you let it.
For those interested in more on this, the new collection Bisexuality and Queer Theory, edited by Jonathan Alexander and yours truly, is now available from Routledge/Taylor and Francis.  Also, of course, this is discussed in Gaia and the New Politics of Love. Finally, I am going to talk about it at BiReCon, the research session of BiCon, the 10th International Conference on Bisexuality, in London, August 26-30. 

 

Saturday, July 31, 2010

How the Wisdom of Love Transforms Gaia: Modeling Choice for Children and Grandchildren

In talking about poly lovestyles, the question of 'children' often comes up. "It's ok as long as only adults are involved, but what about children? Can they be 'exposed' to such things and still grow up to be sane and happy people?" Find out all about this and more in this clip. Hear the wisdom of poly grandmothers with two generations of descendants who are happy to have them be part of the family and respect them for who they are!

Here's another clip from the Double Book Launch on 6/22.  Enjoy and let us know what you think.  And for more info on it all, don't forget to order your copy of Gaia and the New Politics of Love!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

How the Wisdom of Love Transforms Gaia: Inventing the Families We Need

What is a nuclear family?  How did this type of family come into being?  Whose interests does this invention serve?  When did it become prevalent and why?  What is 'nuclear' about it?  Why do some people think it's the only possible type of family and/or the most advanced one?  What are new ways to think about 'family' that better serve the future of our species?

All of this stuff came up when Taj and yours truly were reading at Open Secret Bookstore, at the Double Book Launch we held on June 22.  We promised more details about it, and here we are!

People often ask me about families, and how they became nuclear.  In fact, many even seem to think that families have always been nuclear, that there's never been another model for what a family is supposed to look like, or even that there is something inherently 'natural' to families being of this kind. 

But what is 'nuclear' about families, really? Are these kinds of families supposed to explode, like atoms? Are they an invention of the nuclear age? Do they look like atoms, and if so, which ones? Carbon? Oxygen? Hydrogen? Uranium? Perhaps they've got some nuclear energy inside, in which case they should be handled carefully, right?  If they are enriched, they can become even more unstable, and that can start the process of atomic fission, where they splinter into little particles.  In this case, they fall under George W's special category, 'nukular,' remember? The famous word that egregious president could not pronounce? 

In any event, and jokes aside, the nuclear family, explosive or not, is a very recent invention.  If we consider the infinite ways in which life has become organized in order to nurture itself through time on the face of our multifarious hostess Gaia, including all of human cultures and the cultures of other species, we find out that in the history of what we may call 'family,' the nuclear family is really a split second. Just a blink of the eye. And not the happiest or most interesting one.

The clip explains when and why the nuclear family became prevalent. What kind of paradigm it is part of, and why this paradigm no longer serves life in general, or human life in particular.  Nothing wrong with nuclear families. They serve a purpose. But to move into a Gaian future, the whole idea of what constitutes family must be placed in a much wider horizon.

Check it out!


Yours truly hopes you enjoy the video. Please help us imagine what the video does not say. What families can we invent to met our needs? Suggestions are welcome!

Families are about love, right? So a new politics of love is also a new politics about families, right?  If you're not sure what's political about families, find out all about it in Gaia and the New Politics of Love.  

Namaste,

Gaia
a.k.a. Serena Anderlini

Friday, July 23, 2010

Creating Poly Bestsellers: Reclaiming Book Sales Engineering for our Communities

Hi there again!

This announcement applies to action to be taken the day after tomorrow, July 25th.  It is related to Polyamory in the 21st Century, a book yours truly has read very carefully and recommends with high marks!  Here's why everyone who reads should get their online order in come Sunday!

For a number of years now bestsellers have been engineered by the book industry.  Lots of books get published every year: in fact it has never been easier to become an 'author.'  However, which books get into whose hands, who has access to them, who thinks they should, and who, eventually, get the wisdom of these books is another story.  With big conglomerates controlling a great deal of the book production and distribution, the public is often the very last entity to decide what's worth reading.  That's why the vast majority of people still believe many very natural ideas to be quite esoteric and radical and eccentric.  Like the idea that we humans can love more than one person at once and can do so in integrity!  Which is of course the very essence of polyamory and also a nugget of very ancient wisdom that has helped people whose love is abundant get by under all kinds of different circumstances.  

The so called 'social media' offer tools that help reclaim the ability to create bestsellers.  We don't have to do it the way the book industry does it, namely by investing big six-digit figures in expensive bill boards that use a lot of paper and destroy a lot of trees and induce false desire to consume what others consume too. No. We can do it digitally and communally, by focusing efforts on ordering online a certain book on a specified date.  The multiple sales made in close proximity send a signal to the digital system that a certain title is highly requested.  This gets attention to the title and author, who then get the advantage of being billed as 'best sellers' for the day!

That way the very notion of bestseller (that which sells best) gets redefined as something that certain groups of people prefer for reasons that are close to their hart, that reflect their genuine inclinations and commitments, their thirst for out-of-the-box knowledge, rather than corporate interests. This type of community action helps the book industry realize that all kinds of books generate interest among readers, even books on topics many big publishers would consider too 'niche,' radical, or marginal to invest in.  So all in all this reclaiming is a way to favor the general public with a book industry that offers a wider variety of products that respond to a wider range of interests and that presume a higher level of intelligence and decision-making abilities among book buyers and consumers.  

The time has come to activate this best-seller reclaiming system for poly books.  Deborah Taj Anapol's Polyamory in the 21st Century is coming up for its special day on Sunday, July 25th, which is also a day of very momentous astral coincidences.  So, let's all coalesce and buy our own copy from Amazon.com on that very day!

Reclaiming bestsellers for our communities is a bit like reclaiming land for sustainable agriculture from agribusiness.  Monoculture is a state of mind, as yours truly learns from Vandana Shiva, author of Monocultures of the Mind, among other amazing books.  It's a way to colonize our minds with ideas that serve interests foreign to our inherent needs.  In the mind, monocultures are just as pernicious as they can be in the fields.  Think of creating 'polycultures of the mind' as you place your order on the 25th.  You can do it directly from this website.    


Thanks for takign action.

Namaste from yours truly, Gaia
a.k.a. Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio